I want to tell you about the time I was stapled to a table.
Yep, I’m gonna go straight there. 0-100.
This will be my first non rhyming post, but you’d better believe the sexual references are poetic and classy as fuck. He was the only friend with any kind of benefits throughout the last couple of years, until he wanted to leave.
I let him go. As gracefully as I could manage.
I try to be more glitter than bitter, but I don’t like the way it ended. Obviously it was going to at some point, we were only sex friends. But he didn’t need to destroy me on his way out. We always agreed we would part ways on good terms when the time came. Still, he chose the easy way for him, and the hard way for me.
Luckily I’m difficult to ruin.
So let’s reminisce.
***Don’t try this at home, not for BDSM beginners***
It was one of the last times I ever saw him. I almost wished I would have known it was the end so I could have enjoyed it a little more. Of course, knowing things about him was never my strong suit though, was it? I hate endings anyhow, so I guess it turned out for the best.
All I knew was if he summoned me, I fucking hit the highway- most of the time.
It felt good at the time.
It feels good to chuckle about it now.
It’s just a little fucked up.. but it’s still good… it’s still good!
Anyway, I was particularly edgy that night and I couldn’t figure out why. I was NEVER that nervous paying Sir a visit but this time was different.
I just had that sense of impending doom. I had to push back panic the entire drive there, and the strong urge to turn around and go home. I don’t know why because I WANTED to see him.
So I told my panic to fuck off and managed to say words when I pulled up and he jumped into my car.
My hands were shaking though. It wasn’t often we went anywhere except to bed, so the change in routine had me thrown off. He noticed. I think I made an excuse about traffic, and said anxiety is kicking my ass. That was usually enough of an explanation for him. It was this time too.
He put his hands on me and I felt better. Distracted, but better. I think I hit a top speed of 50kph the whole way.
Near the destination, he asked me to pull over.
I did as I was told. Like a good girl. Yes Sir.
He unbuckled, opened his door and walked around to the driver’s door, opening it. Then I saw that look he gets in his eye when shit is about to get real.
He got on his knees. In the dirt. So romantic. We were parked under an overpass, right next to the train lines. I flicked the interior light in the car off, as a train went by. The lights in the cars enabled me to see the faces of the passengers … While Sir buried his face between my legs. Wild!!
(What? Did you think he was going to give me a ring? Please.)
Adrenaline hit me hard.
I laughed that evil laugh he always provoked in me…. And grabbed his hair. Man he had really nice hair. Or maybe I just liked that it gave me some leverage. Or maybe I’m just obsessed with blondes. I can’t decide.
He didn’t finish the job then and there. Of course not! He took sadistic pleasure in edging me and tormenting me.
He walked back around to the passenger side and instructed me to drive. So I did what good girls do.
When we arrived, he wasted no time in bending me over the couch in the foyer. His place wasn’t big, but it was his…… so we could do what we wanted. I wondered how many customers had sat on that couch before me as he destroyed my cute hair and lifted my dress in one smooth move.
I hated how smooth he was… sometimes. His level of calm could be almost unsettling. But not this time. I was loving that shit.
I could see lights on in other businesses across the street. I laughed that evil laugh some more.
We didn’t stay there for long. He ushered me through to the back, where he had his work space prepared.
“Is this the room I’m going to die in?” We laughed. Him harder than me, though.
“Kinda looks like it……” I kicked off my shoes, before he instructed me to hop up on the table. I’d wanted to get on that workbench for a long time. We’d discussed this idea a lot.
I did as I was told. There was work to be done! Yes Sir was all I fucking said.
“On your knees. Elbows on the pads.” I obliged. My adrenaline was through the roof by now. I could hardly breathe in.
I fucking LOVED that feeling. Controlled terror.
He gave me a couple of strokes and slaps. Adjusted my position. I had the feeling I’d be on this table for a while.
I was commanded to put my face down, blinding me. “Yes Sir.” We had enough trust that I could submit easily. I knew he’d hurt me, but he wouldn’t hurt me… if that makes sense.
I couldn’t trust him to text me back, but I could trust he cared enough not to damage my body. Unfortunately, although we had the same sickness- we did not have the same texting abilities, apparently.
He laid leather straps over my wrists and ankles…. then walked away. I heard the rattle of tools being moved around.
The weather was hot but I felt a coldness come over me. Sheer fucking terror gripped me as I wondered what he was planning to inflict, and how he planned to attach me securely enough to fuck me.
I felt his hand on my leg, behind me. “Don’t….. move.” His order was firm. I knew it would be dangerous for me to move, so I froze still.
Then I heard it- the sound of an air compressor, firing something.
I felt it. The thud of the staple as it tore through the wooden table top- right next to my leg. We were definitely gonna break some OH&S policies tonight.
I let out a “HOLY FUCK!” and he steadied my shaking with his hand.
He didn’t stop work. He fired again, securing the other side.
And again. And again….. working quickly, as I squealed a little bit with every loud bang.
I was laughing by the time he was done……. At no time did I feel threatened. Just, thrilled as fuck. He asked me if I was comfortable.
“Very. Go ahead.”
At one point I felt the sensation of bubbles popping on my back. I looked back to see he’d pulled out a bubble wand and was not only defiling me with it, but creating some ambiance at the same time. I have never laughed so hard during the act. He was seriously creative.. So you can see why I was so into that motherfucker.
“Nothing but the best for my lady.” That was probably the kindest thing he ever said, even if he could only utter such a phrase with his dick 6 inches deep in me….. after stapling me to a table.
We had a weird dynamic. That’s why I loved it.
That man made me fucking crazy. Good crazy.
After about 30 minutes maintaining my pose on the table, he released the straps. I was surprised he was done with me so fast. But of course, that was just the entree. Once he was finished with the tabletop treatment, he ordered me onto the bonnet of his car, which was conveniently parked inside the workshop. Fuck. Yes Sir.
The metal was cold. The windscreen made a great headrest. I highly recommend.
We took turns standing on the bullbar…… and the bubble wand made a great… tool. I will never look at a bubble wand the same way again. Actually there are quite a few objects I’ll never see the same, thanks to him.
We eventually slid off the bonnet and ended up back on the customer couch, after a quick stop off in his office, where he put me under the desk. Sorry customers, not fucking sorry.
I ended up pretty much upside down. I did not give a fuck.
Neither of us knew where our pants were after that epic adventure. So I had to go on a pants hunt. I did eventually find them. I’m a fantastic hunter.
We hung out for a while chatting before we hit the road again, and decided to continue the party a little longer. Well, he decided. Like always. He instructed me to pull down my dress, out in the open, then drive with my rack out. The prize was burgers.
I have a nice rack, so I thought why not tick this off the bucket list…. and hey, I love burgers.
My bucket list is weird.
Seriously though, who wouldn’t want a dirty burger after that encounter?
He kept his fingers in dark places while I ordered for us in the drive thru… But kindly tucked my tits back in so security cameras wouldn’t see.
He only removed his hand when we rolled up to the window. I smiled at the cashier and acted natural. Realistically, she probably noticed my running eyeliner and sex hair.
After our dirty dance and our dirty burgers, I took him home. Sexy chauffeur. He kissed me goodbye, and I issued my standard farewell.
“Thank you, Sir. Until next time………….”
Only next time was a long way away.
I still have no regrets, even though we’re finished. I live in the moment, and the moment was GREAT.
***reminder: Restraint play is serious. Always put safety first and never play like that with someone you don’t know or trust***