Hi. I’m Ella Alasia.
You may remember me from books and blogs such as ‘Fuck That Shit’ and ‘Message Not Sent’.
You may also remember Satan himself. I remember the time he told me he was infertile, then got me pregnant. Or the time he threatened our colleague with a meat cleaver for offending him. Good times, good times.
Obviously, being the father of my sons, there is no escaping his drama. It sure makes for some great tales though… and if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s monetizing the abuse I’ve endured.
Yo. Cop that you fucking bastards.
I’m not sure where I left off in the saga, but it doesn’t really matter. I can give you the jist. Power and control, power and control. Manipulate, isolate, rinse and repeat.
The only problem is, he can’t get near me now. He tries really hard, and I have to give him an A+ for his try-hardiness.
He still swears black and blue that he never committed acts of DV against me. I must have fucking imagined his slimy hands on me, forcing me into the pavement and the way my babies cried for him to stop.
He did stop. I stopped him.
He doesn’t even understand the definition of domestic violence. He can’t see his toxic masculinity. He’s blind as fuck.
You may think I’m cocky, and I am. In more ways than one, if you know what I mean. Plenty of cocks to choose from around here. I have an abundance of choice. He has to settle for a downgrade.
I get the last laugh. And the occasional Sugar Daddy.
I’m not usually one to body-shame or hate on womankind. I’ve been a big girl. I gained and lost 30kg with each pregnancy. I know how that feels. Hell, I don’t have a perfect body now, either. So I won’t focus on how she looks, but rather how she behaves. But just quietly, she’s got at least 20kg and a decade on me.
This amuses me in a superficial way.
He had the audacity to message my brother and brag about how he could be fucking V8 supercar models if he wanted to, but he chose me. Fuck man, what a compliment. But where’s your models at, bro? He doesn’t know I’m a fucking nude model these days, anyway.
I digress. Back to my human shield. Let’s call her Sadie, cause she’s a cleaning lady.
She behaves like a slave. She’s perfect for him. I can see the devotion in her action. She cares for my kids. For him. I have zero complaints about that…. she’s basically working for me and has no idea.
I utilize my shield to her maximum potential. I was waiting for the day he would ensnare a new victim and leave me the fuck alone. It took him a long time to realize he obviously wasn’t a young man anymore, and wasn’t going to attract any fine young sluts.
So he took on a slave. She reminds me of my former self.
I’ve picked up hotter chicks than he has, and I’m not even gay. I did fuck them though. OH YES I DID. Well one of them. Hey lady, we should have another threesome, or three… yo.
Feel the burn, mankind!!
I’m living HIS dreams. If he knew, he would lose his mind.
Fuck I got distracted again. Back on topic.
A part of me wants to warn her away and try to help her see the light, but I know it’s pointless, and won’t serve any purpose except to get her offside.
I need her on my side. She is, and she doesn’t even know. She serves me so well… absorbing his abuse and deflecting for me. He makes her sit in my driveway every week while he takes his sweet time doing extended custodial changeovers.
He acts like a half decent father as long as she’s around. He’s working hard to lie to her and pretend he’s a human being. I see him though. I see right fucking through.
He tries to play us off against each other. He uses me against her and her against me. Lucky for me, I’m aware and awake and remain unaffected, as always. If anything, this is a positive thing for me. I always win.
My very existence would be offensive to her. As offensive as the ex who came before me, was to me. In the end, she was the one who dealt the final blow which released me from my fucking delusion.
Anyway, there’s no reason for Sadie to be attached to his hip, but there’s also no reason she can’t come inside and help tuck the boys in. I don’t tell her that though, that’s for him to say.
I see what he’s doing though. He can’t have me, so he will dangle me in front of the poor bitch he selected as second (or tenth) best. Like bait. Stirring her insecurity, and trying to enrage me. Sorry mate, I’m glad she’s around. Please keep her.
I can see how much she resents me, though. She tries to keep her expression neutral, and I fucking remember doing the same thing. You can’t even make the wrong face around this cunt. He’ll crucify you for an eye roll or a deep sigh. Power and control.
I can see how much it bothers him that I’m so aloof. I disengaged a long long time ago from this shitshow. I manage him as if I’m studying him for scientific purposes. I’m just an onlooker on the edge, no longer standing in the eye of the storm.
I have a really nice umbrELLA.
While he’s busy playing stupid mindgames and attempting to manipulate everyone around him, I’m over here doing the real work. Raising men. Loving them. Guiding them and literally bleeding myself dry to make sure they have EVERYTHING.
I always knew I’d be the primary. I knew the real responsibilities would fall on my shoulders. I knew he’d make my life difficult. I actually thought that’s what love was, though. Hard work.
Silly me. Love is not hard work. It’s work, yes. You have to put in some effort, and have some self awareness about you. But when you feel like you’re swimming upstream with bricks tied to your legs, and you’re drowning in him………
That’s captivity and nothing more.
He caged me.
I didn’t escape. I made him give me the keys, and LET ME GO. He threw the doors open and threw me away, as if it was his decision. As soon as I was gone, he did nothing but try to sink his hooks back into me.
He asked me to marry him.
HELL TO THE FUCKING NO, BRO.
I ripped those hooks out. Right in front of him. Again and again. Every single one of his attempts to harm me, bounced straight off my body armour. He disconnected my phone which was in his name. I bought a new one, and didn’t give him the number for a while.
He threatened me. I stood firm and said COME AT ME BRO. (I was terrified, though.) I moved house and didn’t give him the address for a whole year. He tried to avoid paying child support at first. I made enough money to fill the gaps. He started paying when he realized I would take it from him one way or another, in the end. He threatened me some more. I started fucking the police, eventually.
Oh, yeah I forgot to mention that. I can have security detail on guard if I desire. I just realize now that I no longer need protection. If anything, he should be shielding himself from me.
I think deep down, he’s more afraid of me than I am of him these days. He knows I’m smarter than him. He always did. He knows even better now. At every turn, I cut him off and put him back down on his knees where he belongs.
The best part is, I do it mostly with silence. Thank you Sir for teaching me the greatest lesson of all. Silence can be deafening.
I wonder when he’ll learn to stay down, though. Every one of my successes has been like a stiletto clad kick to the face while he’s down on the ground, looking for his self esteem.
He’ll never get better. He’ll never be the man he needs to be. But I will make him better than he would have been, that’s for sure. My influence is strong, now. He won’t even notice me disciplining him.
He’s too busy calling me a crazy bitch. Right on, buddy. You fucking know it. Crazy to ever fuck with you.
I was lucky. So so lucky. It’s a good thing he’s a coward, honestly. He’s mostly all talk… but I’m all action, baby. It could have gone very differently, but thanks to my quick thinking and sheer resilience, I didn’t get murdered.
I became the alpha and the omega, motherfuckers. It starts and ends with me. Those two are just pawns in my game of chess. Nothing happens anymore without my say so.
And neither of them even realize I’m the one in control now.
The moral of this story is that you can overcome great obstacles, if you just DECIDE TO, trust your instincts, and act on them without fail. The only power anyone can have over you, is that which you give them willingly. You can taketh away.
So do it.