Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
No, don’t. You need to listen up, so you can hear it twice or thrice if need be.
This is what ALL women want, no matter how we identify ourselves or categorize ourselves. These are our deepest desires and most important needs.
This is obviously from the perspective of a cisgender female, as trans people (and all the others on the vast spectrum of gender and sexuality) face unique challenges of which I have no experience with.
In the name of keeping it real and keeping it simple, I’m speaking from my own viewpoint, and that of the women who share the same gender assignation as me.
The same respect a man is automatically given as a birthright. To be free of unwarranted and unnecessary judgement for taking the exact same actions as our brothers. If I want to fuck, I will fuck. If I want to say no, I will say no. I expect respect, so long as I am treating others with respect. My claiming of the right to speak, dress, do as I please, is not a reason for your moral outrage to be triggered. Unless I am doing that in such a way as to take advantage of you or harm you. Respect goes both ways. If you don’t like something about me, please address it with me like an adult in private and we will come to a reasonable solution for everyone’s comfort and wellbeing.
To be, say, wear, act however the fuck we please, without the burden of scrutiny for literally EVERY action we take. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Well I say damn YOU. No, getting semi-naked does not equal disrespecting you. If our bodies offend you so much, please refrain from trying to penetrate us. Yeah, I didn’t think that would happen. So please calm down and just enjoy seeing women being their most authentic selves. Some of us forcibly claim the privileges you are gifted with from birth. CELEBRATE THAT! It’s a good thing for us all. On the flip side, some of us prefer to remain covered from head to toe. This is also 100% okay.
From our sisters, AND our brothers. We want good men to stand beside us and speak out against the bullshit double standards when they arise. Correct your brothers. Fight for us and with us. Don’t laugh at sexist jokes. Women, don’t tell jokes that paint men as useless, brutish animals. They are not. Men, don’t tell jokes that paint women as stupid, weak or lesser beings. We are not. We all owe each other the service of understanding and celebrating our diversities. Everyone benefits from that.
To be free enough that we don’t have to feel uncomfortable or intimidated, even in public spaces and broad daylight. To feel safe enough to speak up for ourselves and say “Get the fuck out of my space with your aggressive desire to shatter my personal boundaries for your own enjoyment.” Or, even to feel safe enough to say “Man you are sexy as hell, please date the shit out of me. Get all up in my space right now!” To be comfortable enough to speak up EVERY time our boundaries are violated, KNOWING our good men will come to our aid if necessary, and back us up. It’s a fact, my guns are not as big as theirs. I have quite the fetish for rippling biceps though, most likely due to my own biology.
Be it in the form of a pair of fabulous stilettos, or a pair of worn out sneakers. To be able to move, speak or breathe without the fear of repercussions for not being womanly enough, or too womanly. To be cared for, both physically and emotionally. To be able to trust the men in our lives to be kind to us not as a way to manipulate us into relenting to their basic needs, (White Knights) but simply as an act of actual support. I can count on one hand the number of men who are kind to me without an ulterior motive. It’s one. Just one motherfucker.
That the long standing divide between both genders is largely a result of mankind’s unfairness towards us. We don’t hate you. We love you, and we want you beside us to enrich our lives, not to enslave us. When we fight back, we’re fighting FOR ourselves, not against you. We’re fighting for you, too. Don’t you want your women to be their best and most satisfied selves? That benefits us all. We want you to be satisfied, too! I will happily kneel and serve a man who LOVES me enough to understand the difficulties I face simply for being born female. I will also expect him to kneel and serve me in return, as an act of gentle submission as well as a nice little stroke to my ego. Women have egos too. That’s pretty close to equality.
Not always equality. There are obvious biological differences between males and females, and I for one am sick to death of trying to explain what equity means. It means giving us a hand to lift us out of the deep dark hole we’ve been planted in, since pretty much forever. We will need more assistance as a sister, than a brother. That is a fact. Our differences are supposed to be an enrichment and not a point of argument. We embrace the things about men that we cannot or do not possess, either through scientific fact or our own personal preference. If you kill spiders for me, I will do your laundry lovingly… or perhaps for some women it’s vice versa and they’re cool with killing pests, and would rather their man did the laundry. Co-operation, people!
Not just the type of love received for a blowjob well performed. (Although that sure is satisfying praise to hear). Or for being the prettiest or sexiest or most desirable female according to whatever shallow beauty standards are popular right now. Real love. The type of love that sparks your rage and fury at the FUCKING RELENTLESS judgment and pressure we’re placed under. That turns me on in a deep way, and not necessarily sexually, either. To witness my male friends, colleagues, family members etc rising up with power to DEFEND OUR HONOUR. Without violence, but with the beauty and strength of their noble words and actions.
For all the wrongs of the past. Occasionally I will applaud a physical intervention if I (or any person) was under imminent threat of serious harm. Force should be a last resort. Always. What we really need, are your heartfelt apologies when you’ve unintentionally acted according to your socialization and automatically programmed misogyny. Our society loves to hate women simply for existing. I cannot fathom why…. but we will forgive you, easily. We want to love you, and we want you to love us the same way. We all make mistakes. Even I, as a woman have been guilty of adopting misogynistic views and shaming or judging my fellow sisters for not being ‘the right kind of woman’. What the fuck even is that, anyway. There are so many unspoken rules for us to follow, and all of them contradict.
Clear vision among the chaos and mayhem of a modern society, and the useless, divisive battle of the sexes we see raging on and on through all living memory and beyond. We crave brothers, fathers, husbands, and friends with the clarity of mind to grasp the fact that women are as human and as real as they are. Our absence of a penis does not make us less deserving of respect and freedom. We’re not automatically crazy, just as men aren’t automatically beasts. Without each other, humanity would not exist. We value your dicks. Please value our parts in the same way. You give the ingredients we need to grow life. WE ARE A TEAM. Please understand that we are not against you. We want to have sex with you, A LOT!
I mean, a whole fucking lot. Please be worthy of my attention and care, and IT IS YOURS.
I hope that clears up some of the mystery around the age old question of what women want. There it is, in black and white. Now you have no excuse for shrugging off our needs, or acting like our wants are confusing. That’s as clear as it’s gonna get.
I hardly even said fuck. So classy!