If somebody is acting like they don’t give a fuck about you- Please believe them immediately.
Have you ever felt like maybe it’s the little things that people do to you, that affect you the most? The truth is, it all starts with you allowing them to do it to you. Massive issues and high level abuse always start small. So handle it well whilst it’s small.
Imagine if people walked up to you and said what they were really thinking. “Hey baby, I sure hope you’re weak as fuck and lacking in self respect so that I can traumatize you with my selfish, disengaged behaviour, all whilst having sex with you but giving you fuck all in return.”
Um… fucking what?! That’s essentially what they’re saying to you though, when they fail to treat you well at an early stage. So listen up.
When you issue a solid boundary, usually shit cunts disappear quickly. I suppose that’s why we fail to uphold or even have boundaries in the first place. Because we just want to keep them, and we’re afraid they’re a shit cunt. But…..
You will learn, or crash and burn.
Again and again.
You’ll stay in that loop of fuckery until you fucking get it.
I went on a great date with a great man last week.
You betcha. I demanded we go out in public before we got to the sex. Now it looks like he may not even make it to the sex at all…. based on his lack of action.
Wait, what the fuck? You thought I said a great man, right? So did I. Turns out I am quite capable of being wrong. I’m not afraid to admit defeat. I’m not sure I’m defeated yet but I am definitely on guard.
His offense was small, and would easily be dismissed, if I chose to. In reality, I’d only be dismissing myself and my needs. I just straight up fucking hate it when people are rude in their communication style.
So what did this guy actually do… to stir my rage?
He asked me a question.
Go on, call me a crazy bitch… but before you do, please note that he did not bother to read my response. He actively avoided reading my messages in response, despite being online several times later that day.
This tells me a few things. 1. He does not care to hear my answer. 2. He isn’t thinking about me. 3. He’s possibly playing a game, wanting me to chase after that bullshit. 4. He’s possibly gauging my level of susceptibility to cunt behaviour. 5. He does not give a single fuck. 6. This is just how he treats his women by default. Not fucking okay with me.
Any and all of these things are possible. What is impossible though, is for me to lower my guards and allow myself to be treated like fucking shit.
It’s also possible that he’s just been very busy, and hasn’t had the 30 seconds required to check his ph- HAHAHAHAHAHAH… no. Fuck that. Nobody is that busy and important. Nothing will stop a man who wants you, from contacting you- even if it’s just to say that he’s incredibly busy but he will get back to you asap. That’s good form.
This… is not good form. At all.
I realized at some point yesterday that I have Post Traumatic Sir Disorder. Those familiar feelings arise every time I’m attracted to someone and they disappoint me. I don’t like it, but those feelings are fucking important to acknowledge. They’re there for a reason. It’s a warning.
Frankly, I’d rather feel brief disappointment and let them go, than allow that shit to develop into something more insidious.. something capable of enslaving me.
Yellow flag, honey. You’re going to let it happen again. Pull back. Disengage. Wait. Don’t send nudes. For fucks sake!
Do you want to find yourself in an endless downward spiral that likely has no bottom? It seems like a never ending vortex of disappointment and insecurity. DON’T LET THAT SHIT HAPPEN TO YOU ANY MORE.
So, hot guy I have all the sexy feels for…… is on a yellow light. All is not lost. He has an opportunity to recover here. I already have a plan. When and if he does contact me, I’ll be issuing the boundary (Gently. sweetly. But without wavering).
“I hate it when people actively avoid a response they’ve incited. It’s rude.”
What he does next will determine my next steps. Let’s hope he issues a solid apology and corrects his behaviour in an ongoing fashion. But let us also prepare for me to cut and run, as his behaviour may illicit that response.
What other response could there possibly be?
Do not bow down just because he makes you wet. Bastards make me wet all the time. Solidify your boundaries, adhere to your standards, and avoid distress even worse than having to say FUCK NO to someone you really want to bang.
Discipline. It’ll serve you very well.
Wouldn’t it be worse, to invest several months or years into chasing after someone who clearly doesn’t give a fuck how it feels when they treat you poorly?
Yes, it would. Yes, it was for me. Yes, it was for you. That’s why you’re here.
I know the way out.
Ask yourself what you really want. Don’t hold back. Demand it with your words and your actions…. and if you’re not getting it, move the fuck on. It’s better that way. You don’t have to be a bitch about it. You can kindly thank them for their time, but dismiss them simultaneously. With grace.
You’ll never find someone worthy of your attention if you keep letting sexy motherfuckers block the traffic flow with their time wasting, selfish antics.
Those sexy, sexy motherfuckers. Damn them to hell.
Reserve the right to respect yourself, by saying GET FUCKED. Okay maybe you could use different words… like “No thank you, sweetcheeks.” Whatever works for your personal style. Hell, go ahead and have a one night stand, but remember who you’re fucking with. Do not attach yourself to someone like that in any way, shape or form.
Most of the time I’ll advise against fucking someone who has the ability to stir such feelings in you in the first place. It’s risky business. It takes real strength and discipline to turn away once you’re turned on.
Do you want to be weak, or do you want to be strong?
Do you want to move on, or do you want to keep living the same fucking shit on repeat until you wake up one day realizing you’ve wasted the best years of your life, feeling unsatisfied and unworthy? That’s a recipe for bitterness right there.
I know the answer is option A.
Start giving fucks about your well being. Take care of your soul. Protect your peace. Better to be alone and focused on achieving greatness, than allowing emotional drama to impact you on ALL LEVELS.
That shit will drag you straight down into a pit of self-loathing. You’ll start turning your back on yourself, and your work…… on everything. Why? To hold onto someone you should LET GO of.
Fight to let go.
Do what it takes. Let them taste your blades. Right in their face. It’s blades in their faces, or blades in your back. You decide. I’d sooner fall on my own sword than hand someone the power to hurt my feels.
Say yes to yourself. Say no to any and all people who treat you badly by default. You won’t regret it. I promise.