This is a pretty big question. Look at me getting all deep and meaningful. Don’t worry, I promise to insert lots of colourful language memes, and or nudes on point, so you won’t get bored.
Willpower for me, is down to a decision. That’s where it begins. Like a switch, I flick it on or off with the choices I make. The more often I reinforce that choice with action, the stronger my will becomes.
Some people like to use affirmations. I can’t say I’m as crunchy or easy breezy as that, however I do have my own unique brand of self-talk. My inner monologue is pretty wild, as you might have imagined. Here are some of the things that run through my head when I’m facing a challenge.
Fuck this, I can overcome far worse than this.
I am in control of my life (and my hair).
It’s up to me what happens next.
I can make this my weakness or make it my strength.
I choose X because X.
I am not a slave to my feels, I am the master.
Mindset is everything. I say this a lot, because it’s fucking true.
Limited thinking can be removed really quickly if you start asking yourself this: Why the fuck NOT?! Why can’t I have that, be that, do that?
The answer will usually be this: there is no reason, and the only thing standing in my path is myself, limiting myself.
Big deal, someone may laugh at me. Who gives a fuck, someone may think I’m a cunt. Maybe I am. This will not stop me from achieving everything I want and more. I’m chasing dreams I haven’t even dreamt yet. I know this to be true because I lie awake at night, because I know there are things out there which belong to me, and I am still yet to claim.
Hello, future husband. Are you reading this?
You can have, be, or do whatever the hell you want… if you just ask for it and then take action to achieve it. Even the tiniest steps in the right direction are sending yourself and others a powerful motherfucking message.
You have to want it though.
You have to want it so bad you can taste it.
You need to be BLOODTHIRSTY for achievement… or you will fall on your arse.
Getting to a place where things are important enough to act on, can be another thing entirely. I like to sit and reflect on how my choices have led me to where I am, good or bad. I take responsibility for the times I refused change, and held on when I should have let go.
I consider how my socialization and influences in early life, shaped me to be the kind of woman who treated herself poorly. The kind of woman who allowed others to treat her the same as she felt inside. Like shit. The exterior followed suit and I looked the way I felt inside. You guessed it. SHIT.
I don’t feel like shit anymore, and the world around me changes to match my expectations. I expect respect, and when I’m not getting it…. well fuck. The shields go up, and the heavy armour on my back protects me as I turn on them. Go a head and stab me. I could use some new steak knives, motherfuckers. I am impenetrable. Invincible. Indestructible. Because that’s the way I choose to be.
This applies to small things too. Do you think I gave a single fuck when my washing machine died last week? Hell no. I stirred my laundry in the bathtub and laughed heartily.
Stir the laundry of your soul in the bathtub of your life, if you fucking have to. Just don’t be a soft cunt and let challenges beat you. You’re being challenged, and tested, because the universe, the cosmos… god, whatever you believe in- is TESTING YOUR WILL.
Pass that test. Pass it every single time. If you don’t, you will face that same test again soon, only it will be harsher.
Reflection is important, and I’m not talking about just your exterior. If you can’t understand why you made the shitty choices you did, then you’ll never get to the root of the issue and forgive yourself.
You need to forgive yourself first. Then the others. Then move the fuck on towards what you really want.
The body of your dreams.
The man of your dreams.
The jobs of your dreams.
The family life of your dreams.
Insert dream of your dreams here. Then go forth and fucking conquer it. Punch life in the face! Beat it into submission. Bend, but never ever fucking break. If you do happen to break, put those pieces back together beautifully and get over it.
That’s right, I just said get over it. The only thing that matters is RIGHT NOW. What are you doing right now to be excellent?
I’m not minimizing your pain. I know it’s real. I know it hurts. I’ve lost a child I never got to hold. I will feel that for eternity. I lost my father before I could even speak his name. I watch my second (but firstborn living) child, struggle every day with disability. I watch my third (second born) struggle to understand the division of our family. Don’t tell me I don’t know real, raw pain that burns you down to your soul. I just DO NOT let that define me or hurt me. These are the things that give me my incredible fucking strength.
If you can’t let go of it, or make peace with it, please see a professional. Help is available, you just have to ASK. Ask for it, for the love of all that is fucking excellent. Then do that god damn work, or you will drown in yourself.
Don’t let bullshit or excuses hold you back. DO NOT STAY DOWN.
Fucking get up and get on with your shit. Nobody is going to rescue you. Nobody is going to do the hard work for you. In reality, we are our thoughts. Make your thoughts fucking powerful, or become one of the mindless flock, moving through life without purpose or drive. Feeling unsatisfied, unimportant, and frankly, useless.
Be what you want.
Say it, spray it, fucking slay it.
Now go and spread your magic, like a stripper spread-eagles.