Suit Panic

Oh hey there. Sorry about the silence.

(Dear diary, it happened again.)

I thought I had a job, you see, but it turns out I just had a bit of bullshit stuck on me. Once I realized I could make more money giving handjobs at the bus stop…… why would I even bother?

I didn’t give any handjobs. It’s just that I don’t enjoy having a deal downgraded and then being told I imagined a better agreement. Nope. Hell to the fuck no. I quit that shit as fast as I said Yes Sir.

My boundaries and standards apply to all people. Boss or butler. It’s all the same to me. I don’t live a good life (mostly) free of bullshit, by bending my own rules. When I’d waited many months for said job to materialize, and then when it did……… it wasn’t everything I hoped for…. I said fuck that shit.

I can still wear a tie. But fuck the rest.

He may or may not remember the book entitled as such, which he purchased and most likely enjoyed. I need to write a sequel:”Fuck that shit- the employment edition.” All that suit panic for nothing though, how annoying.

I’m sure some people will have an opinion on this. Some would say I’m not trying hard enough, but those same people have probably never had to do things solo even once in their lives. They also don’t have a disabled kid. It’s not just a matter of accepting the first thing that comes my way, and locking myself down. The same is true of dating right now as well.

When there’s nobody to fall back on, and nobody to collect my kids from school…. that shit costs me money. When people say they’re gonna help me out because they understand my position… but they expect me to work for chump change, that’s not really all that helpful, is it?

Also, contractors get paid MORE. Not less. I just can’t be arsed struggling to fit into a mould that doesn’t work for me. That would kill my vibe and you know what Ella says about vibe killing. Fuck that!

I’m not even sorry. Sometimes shit just doesn’t work out. It’s not personal. I don’t feel vengeful. It wasn’t aligning with my life or my purpose. Still, I gave it a shot anyway, because you don’t know if you don’t try. I wanted to make more money, but I won’t set myself on fire for an outcome based on greed. Money flows to me when I stay in my alignment. What does that mean? It means always having the balls to make the unpopular decision- if that’s what feels right at my core.

So I change course, again, without hesitation. In fact, I was mid manicure when I made the final decision. Turns out it was a great decision…. cause my copywriting gig is about to expand due to a restructure. I won’t bore you with the details…. but….

FUCKING WINNING!! I’m always rewarded for my boldness. I could have bent my boundaries and continued to struggle with an epic commute, stress about getting back on time to pick up my kids, shitty pay that didn’t excite me at all… OR… I could do what I’m well known for. Saying fuck off. Nicely. Ok sometimes I’m a bitch but this wasn’t one of those times. I was super professional.

I’m also a pro on both sides of a lens.

I think I just broke up with a boss. I fired myself.

He did say my job description would include telling people to fuck off if necessary… pity it turned out to be him. Awkward.

I know he reads this blog too… so a special shout out to you, Sir. I bet you still love my writing even if you don’t love my quitting. It’s just so damn solid.


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