I miss him.
No. Allow me to correct myself. I miss the part of me that was able to trust and relax. I was innocent and fresh enough that I felt like fun may lead to more.
It really can though. If you close yourself off to fun… you close yourself off to opportunities to bond on a deeper level.
What if I told you there was a way to enjoy the best of both worlds?
What if I told you that you can approach any and all engagements with mankind in CONFIDENCE and POWER?
I think I just transcended some bullshit. It dawned on me that approaching men in a wounded state was only bringing me bullshit.
It’s important to let that shit go…. lest it impact your whole demeanor. Allow me to elaborate.
I thought that because HE broke the rules and HE was bad for me… that all casual flings were bad.
What the fuck. No. Since raising my standards, I’ve noticed i wasnt raising my standards for my own conduct. Sure, I was avoiding heartache…. but I was also avoiding any and all enjoyment in the process.
All work and no play makes Ella a something something.
Vodka is a fantastic writing fuel. Just saying.
It’s OK to engage more than one man at a time. So long as you’re staying honest and authentic, go ahead! If nobody is in the dating pool… then you’re gonna be skinny dipping alone. Fucking boring.
I realized I should be more confident. I can and have attracted some seriously good looking motherfuckers. Powerful motherfuckers. People of means, influence, and straight up beauty. I did these things when I was aligned with myself and not giving a single fuck about the outcome.
That’s the key.
You need to get back in the game. Yes, it’s harsh out there. Yes, some people are shit. Do you trust yourself though? Trust your instincts?
Fuck yes you do. You should. It’s hard to meet a decent man when you’re not meeting any men at all.
OOOOOOOOO. I KNOW. Your mind was just blown.
When I approach with all my boundaries and my shields up around my eyeballs…. I look crazy as fuck. They don’t know where I’ve been or what bullshit I’ve endured. They just see crazy. I’m not saying have no standards. I’m saying go for it but quit that shit if it’s not making you feel amazing.
I can have all the boundaries in the world, but what I’ve realized is I don’t need to communicate them all immediately- just apply them and act on them accordingly.
Yes I am crazy as fuck… but in the good way. Crazy hot, crazy fun, crazy goddamn aligned with my soul. They’ll see that if I’m acting from authenticity instead of fear.
My soul needs sex. Doesn’t yours? I’m not instructing you to bang every dude who shows an interest. That’d be stupid.
Allow yourself to develop some motherfucking courage, though. There’s no harm in going for a coffee with lots of different guys until you find one who makes you want to jump over the table and straddle him.
If you’re not meeting anyone because of small and minor infractions…. then you’re fucked and not in the good way.
Even though I uphold high standards, I’ve been known to ghost men. I hate ghosting and yet thats the behaviour I revert to when I’m just not interested.
Instead of taking everything so personally… what if every single one of us acted from a place of authenticity and truth?
Keep it lighthearted. Keep it real but keep it fun.
You can’t carry your trauma into every interaction. You’ll fuck yourself up. What if you approached every situation with trust (in yourself) and badassery? What if you gave them the benefit of the doubt and just got the fuck out there? You can always change your mind.
You can still adhere to the rules. Meet in public. Do the standard coffee chemistry test. If you’re feeling it… give it a shot. Security doesn’t have to mean total lock-down.
The key here is not investing too much in any one human until they’re investing in you.
A surefire way to make a man fall in love with you is by being fucking happy and enjoyable to be around.
Nobody gives a fuck that my baby daddy is a cunt. Nobody gives a fuck that I wear ink for a man who can’t remember my real name.
Nobody gives a flying fuck…. and so neither shall I.
The best way to attract what you want is to enjoy yourself. Give yourself the gift of freedom and confidence.
Use condoms. Listen to your instincts. Enjoy the moment. Each moment leads to another and another…. until he’s dying to fucking see you again because you’re just so damn ON FIRE and irresistible.
I just cracked the code. You’re welcome.
P.s- After I wrote this, I met someone I liked. 😉 That’s how powerful mindset is. Decide something and then act from that place. Drop your baggage right now. You can always pick it up again later if I’m wrong.
P.p.s- The amount of good sex I’m having seems to correlate directly to my level of lashes. Every time I get extensions, I get it on! More on that later.